Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None, Its a hardware problem
How to keep a programmer in the shower forever. Show him the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Q. Why did the programmer quit his job? A. Because he didn't get arrays.
What's the difference between hardware and software? You can hit your hardware with a hammer, but you can only curse at your software.